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Art Critque Corner; I need advice...
Topic Started: Tuesday Jul 20 2010, 02:40 PM (9,392 Views)
RGX
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You're not doing a very good job!

Need something critiqued not related to any of our community projects? Post here!
http://rgxanimation.webs.com/
http://rgxsupersonic.deviantart.com/
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PlasmaNuke
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You have no friends.

RGX
Jul 20 2010, 07:40 PM
Need something critiqued not related to any of our community projects?

Nope.
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GameBuddy
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We're Apples. Forever.
Animators
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14[/YOUTUBE]
Visit My Website for all your voice actin' needs.

♫It's so scary the weird way that you watch♪
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Loor44
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Loopy Loor :P

Here's an old comic my friend and I came up with a long time ago...

Knock yourself out ; D

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Go here if image is too small: http://i198.photobucket.com/albums/aa50/Lo...Shadow001-1.jpg

(Yes, it is a reference to Sonic Uncut)
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Conte De Patiernis
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My first flash animation, I made it long time ago...
I hope you like it...

ING. version

ITA. version
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WARNING!: I'm italian, sorry for future gramatical errors.
Posted Image Click here for my deviantart page and my livestream channel
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Jacks


My turn!

I'm doing a little fanarty thing for the cool lady at the Japanese noodle bar. She saw a drawing of Tonitoni Chopper and requested one for her bar. How could I refuse? :D

So I snapped it up on my camera phone and got it into Flash, working around the original sketch and giving it guidelines. Want to see what I've got so far?

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He's doing a clumsy childlike walk, so he may be a bit off-balance (that black line is the centre-line.. kinda). Hope I get it right lol.

Just noticed that leg is a bit small/clumsily 'foreshortened' and there's a couple of size discrepancies, albeit small ones.. Go on, rip it apart! :ph43r:
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the-real-iceman
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The fuck is this volcanic ash?
Animators
looking good

is he proudly holding a stick like in the Skypiea arc?
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Jacks


the-real-iceman
Oct 13 2010, 12:16 AM
looking good

is he proudly holding a stick like in the Skypiea arc?

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Dude. An internet for you. And thanks! :D


*REMOVED- UPDATED IN OTHER TOPIC*
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Conte De Patiernis
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Animators
HEY?
nobody see my submision? D:

however nice work Jacks! :D
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WARNING!: I'm italian, sorry for future gramatical errors.
Posted Image Click here for my deviantart page and my livestream channel
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Jacks


Conte De Patiernis
Oct 13 2010, 02:46 PM
HEY?
nobody see my submision? D:

however nice work Jacks! :D

Sorry Conte! Watched it just now.

I have to say I rather liked it. You have a nice smooth sense of pacing and cinematography going on here, especially for your first hand at Flash. The bit where the fly awakened the farmer and made him react by kicking the snake made me laugh quite a bit. Got a good kick, no pun intended. Hee hee.

I can't really speak for the art so much because it's old (when did you make this? According to Newgrounds it's quite recent, but I'm guessing it's because you only uploaded it recently?), but the explosions in the ground got a little bit boring, and made it hard to follow the fight with a lot of intrigue. I think you also used the 'punch in the gut' twice. Vary the fight up a bit more, should you do another fight sequence in another flash. Even have the most ludicrous thing happen- the fly, at high speed, has his arm go hard up the snake's nostril and yank his jaw reeaaally wide open, so much that it locks. Then have him perform a massive whack in the snake's teeth- cue a slow-mo splintering of the teeth into tiny pieces for added 'OW, HOLY CRAP, PAIN' effect.

My point: You really want your audience to FEEL the pain your character is feeling and make them WINCE! That way, they're more attentive to the action when a big blow is administered. (I know the flash is already done in regards to the fly character, that's just an example of how I might have done it). You've got that to some degree, but you can really go for the 'overkill' without necessarily having a lot of- or any- blood at all.

The art itself was quite fluid, especially the character design of the fly. Generally, the art has got its kinks here and there, it's not perfect, but overall it's not too messy, so it works. I'd watch out for more complex designs like people (the farmer) though, because the flaws really showed through here, especially in the still overview shot. Mastering how to draw people properly might help in future bipedal character designs, particularly the animation of said characters. So keep that under your hat!
Just be aware of your Paint brush lines- these can be very tricky, and will show up like a sore thumb if they are too messy. Improve them with patience, and your work will flow a lot better. (If you have, that's great! After all I might be preaching to the choir here lol...)

The game references were pretty nicely done, I thought the FATALITY one was very well placed.

It was hard to tell what was going on in the dream sequence- I had a very basic idea, due to the appearance of the fly in the farmer's dream. I think clarity may be a little problem in scenes like this, or at least visual clarity.

All in all, good stuff! Congrats with the award :)
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woolythehedgehog
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Conte De Patiernis
Sep 14 2010, 06:29 AM
My first flash animation, I made it long time ago...
I hope you like it...

ING. version

ITA. version

Kinda odd, but great work!
Sonic... It's been a long way coming... but I think you're finally back on your feet! SEGA and SONIC TEAM FTW!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BTW, check my Sonic fansite if you're interested:
http://www.mobianislandzone.webs.com/
It also serves as the website for my "Sonic Restoration Fangroup". The group and website are fairly new, so there aren't many members yet, and signing up would be much appreciated! :)
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AncoPro
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Braaaaaaains

Haven't really done any drawings lately and I wanted to test colouring in photoshop (I'm still a little bit raw at it). I might go back and fix things later, can't decide right now but hell, figured the people around here are quite good with providing critique so here's some bait for ya. Personally I'm unsure about having Sonic's arms look noodle-ish but I like how the colors turned out. Your opinions? (I'm planning to do a background eventually, that is, after I clean up this picture)
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My DeviantArt
My Youtube
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Gamer262

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I Need Help On My Drawings, Here's One Of Them. ( It Was Made In Flash)

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halo
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Idea strikes. Genius ensues.
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A lot of stuff below the head looks blocky and could use some rounding out. the arm pointing down is waaaay too thin, and based on the positions of the shoes, neither should have a buckle showing, but his left leg looks like it's on backwards because he's facing the other way.
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Gamer262

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Thanks I'll Try To Make It Better. :)
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